Subterranean Beefworks

ain't no time to stash the gumbo

To quote my friend Alexia's livejournal:

I got new shoes today. They are Kill Bill style shoes. The Asics Onitsuka Tiger. Dan G, I think my shoes are officially cooler than yours. Check your e-mail, buddy. heh heh.

Understandably taken aback, insulted even, I checked my inbox to find:

Okay color me skeptical. They're cool shoes and everything, but seriously. Cooler than mine? This isn't even necessary, but for the sake of comparison:

Enough said. Look at them. Be drawn to their boundless class and elegance. These are the kind of shoes rockstars wear while being ravaged by attractive groupies. I don't think Uma has groupies. She's got really ugly feet too.

I want to talk about Kill Bill/Quentin Tarantino for a minute. He's a sham. A predictably eccentric, inarticulate filmmaker whose special powers go no further than a fantastic ability to rehash. He's shamelessly ripping off (using techniques of past film makers in uninspired, unflattering, and poorly executed ways) the likes of Lo Wei (directed Bruce Lee movies) and being hailed as some sort of cinematic Christ for it. I can appreciate paying homage to films that have inspired you, but what QT did in Kill Bill was recycle a bunch of elements from movies he's liked, watering down each element with copious amounts of fake blood and a star who has no right to swing a sword due to her complete lack of grace. Kill Bill is a westerner's kung fu movie, and having seen a great deal of authentic asian cinema myself, QT's work just seems contrived.

The guy is getting paid millions of dollars to bring his hobbies, obsessions and fetishes to fruition on film, and there is no disrespecting that. But lets try and see through him on Kill Bill, shall we? He put Uma fucking Thurman in a Bruce Lee outfit. I'm surprised he hasn't been dragged out and beaten to bewilderment by someone who can handle a set of nunchucks.

I like your shoes though Alexia. I bet they look a hundred times better on your feet than on that caricature of an actress Uma Thurman.

I want to talk about a new study abroad program I found, but not right now.
I want to talk about the craziness of the Mitch Hedberg show I went to on Saturday. Decent stories abound.
I also want to talk about my trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in Philly today.
And stemming from that, I want to talk about how energizing it was to be outside in beautiful weather with really attractive women all over the place. (but i'm not really going to touch on this stuff right now).

What I will touch on is Spring. I can only feel as though we've made it through an ordeal. Winter was a motherfucker this time around man. I usually feel pretty good about the season when it's over, but this time the good memories all have freezer burn. Catching the occasional softcore on HBO over vacation actually became too much of a chore because I was too busy trying to keep myself wrapped in covers fending off the draft coming from the sun room. And as has been the case for the past couple winter I've experienced, there was very little productive snowing, let alone daytime snow. Ah well. It was my first winter in my house, so it solidified all sorts of memories and moods that I'll expect to feel nostalgic about when I encounter them next year.

So in honor of this beautiful, sweaty-ass hot day, I'm playing some really old live phish mp3s I have that, for some reason, always bring me back to a really summery mood. I want to see a show this year. This summer, I am also going to work more hours than I will be happy with so I can buy a 1999 or 2000 Subaru Impreza 2.5RS. A blue or black one, a 2 door coupe with standard transmission. Kelley the Blue Book says it will cost about $8K or so. We'll see.

Wow awesome. I loaned my pocketknife to a guy downstairs yesterday night and he never gave it back to me. But, it's sitting right here on my desk.

Oh, and wash out that cut on your lip before it turns into a cold sore.

Just a little badass to close the night.

Posted by Alchemae at April 19, 2004 02:00 AM