Originally I wanted to give this site a real make-over, a complete change in layout and tone and all that. I know it needs it, and I know I would be happier with change, but I just don't have the time or the motivation to revamp the whole thing. I've abandoned restructuring in favor of adding little widgets as I see the need for them. That little bar above, under the keen little German flag, that's going to have information in it once I'm over-seas. It might tell you what time it is where I am, my health, a link to something I want you to see, or maybe even something like an away message for when I'm out of touch. For the moment, it's a stark phrase that expresses the lump I feel in my throat, now that I am a day away from leaving.
I'm getting both the butterflies that flutter in my stomach and the moths that eat away at the lining of my stomach; the excitement and the cold apprehension. There's so much little shit to be accounted for and to be quite honest, I haven't even started accounting for it yet. I just want to wake up there, my bags and belongings all situated for me so I can just go about my brief new life. But, what would this be if it didn't sit squarely on my shoulders, stressing the shit out of me?
What I feel a day before leaving is helplessness. Leaving is the most opportune time to let somebody you know you'll miss them, but I don't know how to do that. Even all the people at work that I've gotten really tight with, how am I to close things up with them in a way to let them know that they're really friends of mine now? And it's not just my friends at work, it's all of my friends.
I've always sucked at keeping in touch, even with my own family. But I think it's really time to shelve that laziness.
So anyway, I'll be posting as I can, between traveling and adapting. The title of this entry is my hopes for this website. You'll be able to hear about what I'm up to, and through comments, I'll get to hear what you're up to. Comment any time you like, about anything you want, and rest assured it will truly make my day.
In a day or so I'm going to be dumped in the middle of an ocean and told to swim ashore.
Last one in is a rotten bratwurst.