Some nights, when there is simply nothing to do, there are two pasttimes in which I like to endugle. One of them is buying a couple bars of chocolate that I eat while riding my bike around town. The other is picking up a bottle of beer and going to the very end of a platform at the central train station to watch the trains arrive and depart.
Either of these tends to bring pensiveness in spades, for better or worse.
So much the better, it usually leads to something I want to write about here.
I was sitting at the end of the platform one night when I realized there is something about Germany that I just can't get used to: it's the extreme ease with which one can go absolutely anywhere in the country just by stepping onto a train and sitting down. In a span of 10 minutes, one can see a train arrive from one side of the country, change it's signs, and haul off to the other side of the country. And sure, the prices are generally reasonable, especially with the 50% fare discount that my program affords me, but that's not what I find so striking about the extensive train system. Rather, it appears to me that there is a very real possibility to board a train for any given destination and arrive there for free. Based on what I perceive to be a very hands-off society that values responsibility for one's own self, the system is such that you are in charge of buying a ticket to your destination. You can do it from a counter or from a machine, or even from the conductor himself for a slightly inflated rate. What it then comes down to is that you board the train, you stow your bag somewhere closeby, and you sit down. The train then departs. There is no baggage check, no security procedure, and most curiously, nobody standing at the door to validate your ticket as you board.
This feeling of complete personal liberty is even more strongly apparent on the subway and city trains, where there is simply no such thing as a turnstyle, or any indication that there are plans to install one. There are no gates for non-paying customers to jump, no guard waiting to catch you by the throat if you try to push through without paying. Just a big sign that says "No entrance without validated tickets" and a couple sentinal ticket validation machines that are payed as much mind as the volunteers at fairs that try to tell you where to park your car. It is like this in every German city that I have been in.
In the case of a distance train, you will be visited multiple times over the course of your journey by the ever-changing conductors. Their job, or one of them, is to take a cursory glance at your ticket and stamp it. More than anything, I think the stamp is just to give customers the feeling that they actually paid for something. Otherwise, buying a ticket would leave you with the same feeling as eating a bag of rice cakes. You can feel in your jaw that you put energy into eating something, but there is no other evidence like aftertaste or fulfillment to suggest you did. If customers didn't get their stamp, I don't know that anybody would even buy tickets, or travel for that matter.
I can't allow myself to just think about this academically. I think it's possible to actually ride free to anywhere in Germany.
Every long distance train has bathrooms, and every traveller has their gastrointestinal off-days. Packing light and being prepared for a much less than comfortable journey, I think the sly (read: poor student) traveller could board the train of his or her choice, make a b-line for the bathroom, and hunker down for the trip ahead. To be caught, it would first have to occur to the ever-changing conductor that the bathroom has been occupied for the long-term. Then, the always considerate and accomidating conductor would have to be so brazen as to interrupt what could be a really terrible situation unfolding in the bathroom, a decision clearly to the potential detriment the other passengers. In the case that our poor student has to face authority, it would be a matter of explaining through foul (english) dryheaving that his or her ticket is in his or her bag, somewhere else. To take advantage of their understanding is nothing short of cold sin, but if I had to bet, I think the conductors would wish you a quick recovery and leave you to it.
Leave it to an American, accustomed to the crushing gnarled grip of Granny America keeping him in line, to start thinking of ways to take advantage of liberties afforded to a more responsible society.
Posted by Alchemae at November 8, 2005 12:49 PMDO EET
Posted by: joel at November 11, 2005 05:19 PMI definately found that to be the case out there - maybe once on a train trip, someone will really even want to see your ticket...especially on crowded or late trains. i went from amsterdam to oldenburg and back and i cant remember ever really having to show my ticket...even though i was looking forward to it..i did buy it afterall...
anyway i think you'd be found out quicker in the shitter - some german is going to need that john and thats one situation i'd never want to be in.
pretend to be asleep in a hard to reach seat. leave a picket-up ticket looking vaguely correct sticking somewhere unpleasant for them to reach for. if you can, watch how the bums and junkies do it, they are pros.
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