Subterranean Beefworks

Laugh now

Watching office people

From my window I can see into the windows of this house owned by the university. They converted it to office space so every so often I see some office worker rifling through file cabinets or rolling their swivle chairs to and fro. Especially on a rainy day like this, the scene is not just a little depressing. Those people in there are career office people; interns who never quite stopped being interns. They have "their desks" and when 11:45 rolls around they decide "where to go to lunch." They have workplace hazards like carpal tunnel syndrome, eye-strain, and back pain. They bring in little trinkets to decorate their desks and pictures of family, and then receive memos suggesting that maybe they shouldn't bring in pictures of family to work, because they are distracting and detract from productivity.

It makes me want to walk into their office wearing high orange shorts, green felt mittens, and with all visible skin painted traffic cone orange. I would throw chocolate and hard candies at them while they stared back, stunned and silent or cheeful and accepting with that special kind of insincerity only seen in offices.

I just ate the best peanut butter chocolate treat ever, but I have no idea what it was.

Added note: Many mistakes have been brough to my attention concerning my write-up about Harlem. I acknowledge that Harlem is a neighborhood, not one of New York's five boroughs. I also spelled 'Brooklyn' wrong. I bet there are some historical inaccuracies as well.

Things you should know about Harlem

Some things you should know about Harlem are that it is a borough of New York City, like Manhattan or Brooklin and that many black people live there. Right off the bat, there is potential for confusion about Harlem. Firstly, New York is a confusing state for many reasons. It takes its name from another popular city name in Great Britain (where our forefathers came from) called York. Possibly feeling homesick or just particularly proud of the cities they came from, many settlers of the pre-revolutionary period dubbed their newly established settlements in honor of their origins. Other examples include "New Hampshire" which is actually a state, "New Hempstead," and even "New England," which possibly demonstrates this etimology best. Getting back to the topic, New York is confusing because it is a state of the union, a city, and a county all at once. And even if you understand where those distinctions apply, you still have to worry about the numerous boroughs that divide the city into sections. Harlem comprises just one of these divisions. You must understand that before moving on to the second source of confusion: Black people.

You are probably not black if you are reading this. With that assumption understood, it can be granted that you are either some derivative of 'white' or some derivative of 'asian.' For your demographic, the superficial (and thereby the most frequently referenced) definition of 'black' is fairly suited to describe anyone who has darker skin than you and speaks either spanish or the ebonic dialects. (The author acknowledges that such a broad summary of a very complex subject comes with its inaccuracies. But for the purpose of explaining Harlem, itself of rivaling complexity, such particulars are better left unspoken.)

Taken on it's own, the issue of black people is easy to understand. As with any culture that has it's place in world history, it is rife with extraordinary heritage, social hardship, involvement with other cultures, etc. and although in depth research will surely reveal ample material about which to be confused, the subject of black people, on it's own, simply sits under the umbrella of anthropology, whose tenets stem from very simple topics (the nature and mentality of mass societies, for example). Problems with understanding Harlem as a whole begin when one integrates the the subjects of Harlem and Black people, which on their own can be understood when considered within their respective fields of study, but when merged, form a highly intricate knot of sciences and ideas which can be nearly impossible to sort through.

The scope of this document cannot possibly endeavor to untangle all of the socio-economo-globio-anthropological tangle, but it is through this paper that the hopes to educate the reader on the subject at hand: Harlem, and what you should know about it.

America began as property of the British Empire. Within it's unexplored territories sprung colonies which were ruled by the Royal Family of England, the Throne. As such, America inherited many attributes from its parent country, England. These attributes included a love for tea, arranged marriages, and most importantly, slavery. For many hundreds of years, the global slave trade was a vibrant industry. The continent of Africa was seen as a large fertile field, from which workers, as opposed to grain and foodstuffs, could be harvested. It wasn't until many years after America suceeded from British rule that such flagrant human rights violations were addressed. The end of the Civil war ushered a new (though still limited) recognition of human rights which provided an opportunity for black individuals to live as citizens.

This of crucial importance to understanding the relationship between Harlem and its many black inhabitants. With their rights recognized, especially in lands north of the Mason-Dixon line, black people began to seek new lands and places of inhabitance, finding relative success and brotherhood, particularly in what we know know as New York City. This pattern of seeking out opportunity is exhibited with striking similarity by hispanics, who much later in history, made similar pilgrimages to America's north east (as well as other highly developed cities in the south and west, and to some extent everywhere in between).

So as we have shown, New York has its origins with those who came over from England. We understand the etymology of its nomenclature, where it applies, and even a bit about how the great City of New York is divided into boroughs, most topically of which is Harlem. And now we also understand how and why it is inhabited by many black people.

This is all you need to know about Harlem. It is in New York, and there are black people there.

New Entry!!

I just lost my entry because another page loaded in its place. GOD DAMMIT.

I started off the last entry with the sentence "I have nothing to say in this entry" but as I began to squeeze out the bullshit, I actually found things to say.

I picked up a book on assembly language. It's pretty dull so far, information about how executabes are put together and the names of the various registers. Honestly though, thank god this is a leisure pursuit. If I had to be graded on this, I think I would promptly find the nearest set of busy railroad tracks and freeze my tongue to them.

I had a "home cooked" meal this weekend. It was of course cool because it tasted good (mmm chicken) but it was doubly so because a cool girl made it. I also watched Identity, which is highly suggested for anyone who enjoys good movies. Other good movies include Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Supertroopers, Happy Times, and (from what I hear) the japanese movie Suicide Club.

On November 15th I'm going to go play in NYC with an old old friend. I can't even really describe how psyched I am about that. Her brother-inlaw runs a swanky hotel, so in addition to free lodging in an exceedingly acceptable establishment, I am going to be in the center of the universe catching up on old times, doing all sorts of weird New York things. Hopefully I'll come back with a good pair of pants and a piercing. MWHAHAHA

School. School. School feels like dreading a morning shower because you know you don't have running hot water. I should appreciate that it's school at all, but not all of my classes fall in to the catagory of "things I like." Philosophy is more like going someplace to watch TV. I enjoy listening, but on the whole I just sort of zonk out and get mad every so often the professor says something I disagree with. English just means writing I don't like doing. It is also like watching TV, but this time, I have to write something about what I saw. English is a fun class to attend though. Journalism is just a fucking sweatshop. I don't like it. German remains excellent.

Today I felt skeletal. Nothing was done, I spent most of the day hungry and pissed. Each week contains at least one or two days of acidic pissiness.

- the W E L S H R A R E B I T

Skunked?

"Skunked" was a word used in Bob Clark's 1983 classic, "A Christmas Story" and was used when Ralphie went to check his mailbox to see if his Little Orphan Annie Decoder ring came in the mail, and it hadn't. "Skunked" is getting like getting "denied" or in some cases, getting "owned" (although the latter is more rare). In any case, I've used this word before knowing exactly what I meant, but no one seemed to respond. I don't think anyone knows what "skunked" means.

I got skunked today.

I wish I could be honest with everyone who reads this, but I really can't. It's out of line, and silly for me to lay out a spread of intimacy on something as public as this. I can only be cryptic and hope that you guys have enough of an imagination to surmise that Dan has girl problems.

I think I'm really good at being silent. I'm either really patient, I have lots of faith in Omnipotence sorting out my quandries, or I'm of the opinion that my enigmaticism is flammable enough to get some sparks going without any direct effort on my part.

Well, tomorrow the eyes will open again. The muscles will fill with blood as dreams are wringed out of them with a good stretch. And I'll have another day to say the words.

In your best interest

I never said anything about dragons.

Flad12er

I watched SLC Punk. It was a good movie.

I've noticed that the afterglow of a good movie makes me feel like someone else. This one won't leave a lasting impression or anything, but I definately feel more mature right now.

My definition of 'mature' warrents explaination, since I'm fairly sure it won't coincide with yours. 'Mature' to me, as I type this, means that a person can hold their own when something goes wrong. If a fight, for example, is brewing around them, they'll know when reasonability has been exhausted. They'll know just what to say to the instigators; they'll know the best way to keep vulnerable friends from harm; they'll know what gestures need to be made; then finally they'll know how hard to fight and when to stop. Afterwards, they'll know how to take care of their injured friends, they'll know where to go afterwards, and they'll know how to seal the night when all is said and done.

Someone who can do all that in the face of such unpredictable chaos is mature. Say what you will about how useless and primative physical fighting is, but when you imagine a 'situation,' there is a hugely complex and vibrant system that can take a course in any direction. An individual who knows where to put words and where to put hands at every moment deserves an enormous amount of respect.

I said before that I feel more mature tonight. I feel closer to being able to control my interests in a situation. It's rather a shame that I live such a protected life, because I've never seen anything that demanded an immediate decision. For me, there has never been a calling to do things right the first time. Even if things went to shit, it either wasn't a big deal or could be fixed later. I've always made it through--granted, by the skin of my teeth sometimes. Maybe I need to be in danger a little more so I don't get rocked the same way a sterile child gets rocked by sickness due to lack of gradually-fortified immunity.

Maybe I need a pierced madison. Maybe I need orange and black hair. Maybe I need to get on stage with a band. Maybe I need to do this before I graduate.

Maybe I need to not express all this in case a girl I like reads this...

What a night.

I feel quite drunk on studies. My vision is swimming in a barely perceptible tide; my head feels warm and heavy; and my eyelids seem to blink with a bit more assertiveness and focus. I'm not sure if I will really have either of the exams I studied for, as the one professor prefers to not announce exams, and the other one didn't really mention anything about an exam. At any rate, I did what I should be doing more of, which is hardcore, wanton academic gorging.

Tonight told me again why I like this place so much, however I don't have the elequence to explain it concisely. So here's a paragraph:

There's always someplace I can sink back in to and find a groove, but at the same time, I am always kept guessing about where I will find such a groove. Tonight was a freshman/sophmore social in the on-campus coffee thing. I got there expecting some brownies and coffee, and probably a couple minutes of floating around watching people have conversations. That's about what happened in the beginning, but then (as soon as it didn't matter) I locked into a bunch of conversations and met people left and right. I am always kept guessing as to where I will be able to pull off some good conversation, or where I will stand there like a caricature and not only talk of the completely asinine, but also stumble over the words like English was my second language.

To take a really far-flung trail with this idea, one always come across "beginner's mind" when reading about Zen and such. It's that phenomenon that happens when you go into an endeavor with no preconceptions, taking everything as it comes to you and reacting instinctively, not allowing your vision to be clouded by fine-tuned logic. The result is outstanding, effortless results. Sometimes, I find myself in the zone, the beginner's mind, when talking with new people and things just fall into place. Other times, however, I bring baggage along with me: trying to make an impression, trying to leave a smile on the person's face after I turn to go. In such cases it becomes nearly, nay utterly impossible to be myself and feel as though things went well.

I guess I write such volumes of words out of frustration, knowing that I could probably really get on with someone, but not getting to that point where my right self flows out.

Hell though, I know what the answer is, and it's to chill the hell out. There's scarecely anything in the world besides life that you can lose and not somehow gain back someplace else.

Art!

Unoffically, I have the 51st best time in the world for CMR3 - Ghardhiki, Greece in the Subaru Impreza WRX (44S) using the keyboard.

I am 1st for Ghardhiki in the Impreza/keyboard group.

The only other person in the Impreza group ahead of me is from Taiwan. He uses a gamepad.

I have no life.

Art.

Cider

I'm back in ye olde Clarks Summit for the weekend, and man. You'd never guess how much could change in a little more than a month.

Firstly, I forgot how to drive. At least twice I rabbit-started the accellerator in the car, forgetting how sensitive it is. And I had to ask my mom how to work the windshield washer. After like 5 weeks!

Driving through town after just coming off the turnpike, I see that the new Bennigans is pretty much complete (compared to the nearly skeletal stages it was last 5 weeks ago). I don't know how I feel abotu that. The building is nice and all, but it's ... Bennigans. It's nice the same way expensive clown shoes are nice.

A 1/2 mile down the road lie the ruins of what once was Weis Supermarkets. The building has long since been vacated, they have a new store right down the road, but to see the crumbled mess of a building that had been there my entire life was a little shocking. It doesn't help that it's being replaced by a KFC and some other lame chain stores.

Then I pull into my driveway, only to see a new mailbox at the end of the driveway, two removed trees, some bushes gone, and my cat staring at me wondering why I'm so incredulous. 5 Frickin weeks and the world is turned on its head.

My bed seemed a foot shorter, my shower seemed to have a frightening amount pressure, and it was weird to actually notice my own "home scent." I guess all of this just means I've been so emmersed in Lehigh life that everything else was left to gather dust in my head.

This weekend was fixing to be so long, but I suddenly realized that all I have is a saturday afternoon to do all my stuff. I'm definately going to try and get home next weekend too, since the RIT reunion kinda fell through.

Oh well. It's good to be home. It definately feels much more like fall in my home mountains.

Please fire me.

Dear Dan
For your first brown and white article- we would like you to do a fall tv preview. come out with 3-4 new shows and write what they are about and some facts about the show. you can include a link or 2 on the web that could give us more info. then talk to students that have heard about or watched the show and see what there thoughts are

This type of story normally appears in the lifestyle section, but since we are trying to make the online site as complete as possible, we want to have our own articles on topics like this.

I will need your review(1 page single spaced, with diverse quotes) by
SUNDAY at NOON.
Please reply asap and let me know what shows you are writing about on and that
you
can do this.
thanks
Blair

Much to my dismay, it turned out that the words "JOUR 1" in Lehigh's course list were misleadingly euphamistic. As it happens, I am on the online news staff for the Brown & White (lehigh's newspaper).

I am not pleased about this.

It's tough to look past my first impressions of journalism (stale, mechanical writing style and balding, soulless old men bitching about "backing into the lead"), but even if I do, why does my boss have to be someone as unrepentantly unprofessional as this?

"Dear Dan?" Who the hell uses "dear" in a business communication.

"For your first brown and white article- " What newspaper editor uses a hyphon where a comma should go? Fucking....arrghhhh

"come out with 3-4 new shows and write what they are about and some
facts about the show." Nice capitalization, Chief. I praise your skillful use of run-on sentences.

"see what there thoughts are" Was that on purpose? It had to have been....right?

"Please reply asap and let me know what shows you are writing about on and that
you
can do this." I'll will be sure to get right soon back to you about on that
as
soon as
asap.

X_X

A picture made tonight. Bonus.