February 29, 2004
February 23, 2004
i'm sorry, but i really don't mind mondays
Liebes Tagesbuch,
20 Minutes until GERM398. I'm listening to Oysterhead as it's streamed from my room to this lovely and expensive multimedia setup in the basement of Maginnes. If I wanted to be really cool, I could put up a visualization and have it projected in frighteningly expensive macro-glory on the big screen.
In the world of go, I think I finally got a friend of mine into it. Granted I'm still a beginner myself, but I've had a great deal of exposure to the game and I know how much I've improved since I first played. That said, my friend shows such outstanding potential that it makes me grin stupidly. He's a challenge even without handicap stones. I just remember how bumblingly stupid I was in my first games, and how sustainingly clever he can be after a number of games you can count on one hand. I just hope he doesn't tire of it.
About 13 minutes till class.
Spirits are high. My money has finally arrived from Amazon (on the 5th banking day of the 5 they told me to wait). I've got another paycheck and some cash to be sent home and deposited. And I've got like 6 escort appointments tonight, which, if my stamina is with me, should bring at least a few hundred more.
February 22, 2004
revelation?
naa, none tonight. but i met such awesome people. most of them go to villanova, but KAY SERAH SERAH NE?! There's a stranger asleep in my hallway right now. He looks really comfortable, with blankets and a pillow. I didn't se ehis face, so he might live here and was merely sexiled. Who knows. I considered drawing on him, but i figure, let the fellow sleep in piece. I would expect the same if i was asleep in the hallway.
The shit that people talk about in trance music is so lame. I'm listening to music right now that sounds like it was sampled from the Celestine Prophecy book on tape. I mean, yeah great you make trance music. Don't try and make it a holy experience. People who seek religion through trance music have all the drugs they need as it is. They're always talking about vibrations and radiation and the astral plain, the "collective consciousness." Come on man, stop taking yourself so god damn seriously.
"Move your consciousness to your thyroid gland"
Yes, I honestly just heard the voice in this trance song say that.
Oh wait, he's telling me to go to the heart center. brb
February 21, 2004
To do:
Laundry
Mail checks and other items
Play game with chris
Tell someone about a hot girl that I saw
Buy batteries for camera
Take a walk way the hell away somewhere
During walk, look around reflectively and attach arbitrary signifigance to everything
Take nap
Wake up
Go to party
Have revelation while decently buzzed that will change the course and content of my life
Sleep on it.
Albums:
February 20, 2004
February 19, 2004
severe
Going to vermont now.
Cost of plane tickets went up 20 bucks since yesterday.
Can't afford tickets yet.
everybody--besides my mom who doesn't--takes so FUCKING LONG putting money into my fucking accounts. still no meal plan refund, still no amazon money. "Your fund should appear in your account in 5-7 business days." Eat shit and die amazon. Your 5-7 business days means monday through 3pm on thursday, and that's only when they get around to telling my bank about the transaction. Then my bank says "5-7 business days" (of course not counting the bank holidays) i mEAN put the fucking pretend electronic money in my account! you're not mining for silver here. you don't need to ship boullion bricks from hong kong or some shit. It's a smallish binary string that says "give dan this much money."
The good news is a paycheck and what might as well be a tax return are in the bank. finally. but christ, i can only take so much waiting before it really pisses me off.
i celebrating my having more than 46 cents tonight by eating at Tulum, the first non-dininghall meal in longer than i can remember. They helped me decide that my favorite food is the quasadilla, and they make an awesome one.
guess what else sucks! i can't go to germany for a year, isn't that just the pig's fucking knuckles? Lehigh enforces the policy that you need to finish your last 30 hours of schooling on the campus. If i wanted to actually do that, I would need to take a mere 9 credits abroad (which no program allows anyway).
What does this mean? means i'm just a little bit fucked. who even knows. all i care about is going to vermont anymore; a real vacation. a real time to enjoy myself and sort things out later. i'm so weary from climbing this stupid hill. vermont is either the top, or something as simple as a nice ledge on which to rest. it can't come soon enough.
I took up playing go again and it's been occupying a lot of my time. It's really hard to be a beginner at this game because at this point, at least for me, I see potential for such magic all over the board. Skilled players play single games that can symbolize the entire human condition. But then there's me, who can in most cases not even identify a solid next move. Being a beginner, your emotions and confidence are toyed with constantly. One night, you have a breakthrough; a series of moves wins you the game when you thought all was lost for sure. You feel like your strength just took a major leap. Then, the next game, you are completely annihilated and sent home in numerous little boxes that say things on them like "Jaw" and "Left Femur, upper half."
As a beginner, I'm plagued by the concept of potential and whether I have so much as a drop of it. Although I've solved problems that put me in the minority of those who were successful, I also make such foolish, shallow, and laughable blunders in games that I would have to respect a grown man who can't multiply 2 and 3.
I do thoroughly enjoy the game though. Winning makes me feel like a small god sometimes, and the idea of becomming a respectable player is very exciting.
February 12, 2004
be envious
The most beautiful girl in the world lives on my campus.
February 10, 2004
Imorphed
Some layout changes. I am happy with them. Are you?
February 09, 2004
Award!
The award for band with the gayest name ever goes to the japanese band Bump of Chicken. I blush a little bit when I speak of them in conversation. When I first heard of them, all I could think of were those fleshy bumps you see on poultry after they've been defeathered, maybe an uncooked roast chicken sitting in the middle of the road.
Though to say that their dumb name has any bearing on the music they make would be beyond erroneous. At this point, I need to say that I've only heard one of their songs but if it's any indication of their style, they really really rock. It's full pop (as opposed to empty pop liiiike...Nickelback with their permed, salon-going frontman). The singer's voice for BoC isn't just pleasant on the ears, he passes an honest passion that isn't overbearing or forced. The guitar counters this perfectly and makes for some simply great music.
Too bad they're friggin jap. By default, their CDs cost 30 bucks plus shipping.
Listen Here! (5.01MB download) (link now inactive, just leave a comment and i'll put it back up)
February 06, 2004
phew
THw world was turned upside down this evening.
Status Japan: Still saving, still planning on making it.
Status Opeth: More probably than ever.
Status Good friend: Going to happen.
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All i want for right now is the right person to talk to. It'sbeyond my power to have them show up or not. please show up.
February 05, 2004
Fickle Day
It bugs me how orthographically similar "fecal" is to "fickle" but I'm sure everyone knows the difference. The day is fickle because when I wake up, around quarter after 7, the sky is most often clear, with thin whispy clouds and a nice warm hue. But almost invariably, the sky is completely clouded over by 10am. I think that sucks. What also sucks is how appropriate of a metaphor it is for my ambitions.
Let the morning sky symbolize my mind. Let cloud cover and hue symbolize the tone or mood or timbre or whatever word could mean emotional state as represented visually. One day, I'm totally about getting something done, no matter what I have to go through to do it. The Japan trip is the latest example of this. A couple days ago I had crisp mornings, with nice orangish hues and streaks of tasty looking clouds snoozing in the horizon. I knew that with a little effort, I could get there and enjoy myself. But it's 10am and the clouds have arrive. I now see just how difficult it's going to be to get there in spite of fares as low as $570 bucks.
If I somehow manage to put the money together, I'll have about 150 bucks of spending money, which just isn't enough for 2 days of travel plus 5 days of fun in an expensive country.
Will the cash even be available by the time I need it? First of all, what am I relying on for this money? A tax return, paychecks, and money from stuff I'm selling.
Tax return is in the mail and should be in my account before March 6th.
If I'm right, I'll get the last paycheck I need on March 5th or so.
I've sold two books so far, totalling about $55 which will be placed in my account by Feb 17th.
God all of this is so frustrating. I think of how much money will be vaporized in such a short time, and I wonder if I should even go through with it right now. However, the flip side is that to fly in the summer is even more expensive, and japanese weather much worse. Then there's Germany which will incapacitate me for the entire 2004-05 academic year.
It's all got me very depressed. I want to see my friend, and I want to see my other friends. I want to do things I said I would do. But it all comes with a cost. I know full well that it's bad to spend such sums of money, but at the same time, I don't give a shit about how hard I'm making things for myself. I'm so young and without obligation right now. I don't have a career, a wife, even a girlfriend. The government isn't worried about my education debt yet, and my bones haven't yet been weakened by osteoperosis. If any time, this is the best time to spend money flagrantly to do what I want to do, even if it means toughing it out financially for a while, and not having savings.
[A] I want to go to Japan. I miss my friend and want to spend more time with her than sitting in the backseat of a car appreciating her wit with whoever is in the passenger seat. I want to put pictures in a photo album of a faraway place I visited so my kids can say "dad, who is that lady with all the weird makeup sitting on your lap?"
[B] I want to go to the rock concert. It's been in the works for months now to see Opeth with Tai in NYC and I have no intention of backing out. A ticket and some bus/cab fare is what I need for that.
[C] I want to see another friend of mine that I haven't seen in many years. Just where I end up seeing her is contingent upon the outcome of Japan, but it is yet another high priority item.
Logically, I should be itemizing all the costs for these 3 things so I have once and for all an idea of how much money I need. But I'm just not going to. I'm going to take things as they come, keep selling stuff, and do what I need to do. It'll work out.
February 04, 2004
February 03, 2004
Striving
Tonight I put some items on the auction block: old text books that are of no use to me. Some of these I thought I would keep, perhaps to use later if I took a class or whatever. But in all honesty, if there's money to be found in expendable items, there is no reason for me not to try for some cash. What sucks is that I probably won't get any buyers, since everyone's semesters and quarters are pretty much underway. Fuck.
ActionScripting in Flash MX
Introduction to Computer Science Using C++, 2nd Edition
Database Processing: Fundamentals, Design and Implementation (8th Edition)
Psychology: Core Concepts (4th Edition)
Nakama 1: Japanese Communication, Culture, Context
Computer Forensics : Incident Response Essentials
Philosophic Classics: From Plato to Derrida (4th Edition)
Even if I get one buyer, I will be happy. The next step is selling an old sweater I bought at RIT that I never wear. It was made in Nepal so it might fetch a pretty penny (more than the 20 I paid for it hopefully). Then, my 128MB Microvault since it's completely expendable and would fetch at least 50 bucks.
There's nothing wrong with selling all this stuff. I am going to Germany in the fall and I have a lot of obligations to my North American friends that can't be fulfilled unless I make some sacrifices. I need money, and it's not just going to appear in my lap. I don't know what I will be able to afford in the end, but it's got to at least be Japan and Opeth.
><><@<@#><#>@#< Holy shit. I just remembered where I could get more money...WORD
February 01, 2004
A Goal
Section C: Word Problems
Problem 1.
Daniel wants to visit his old friend in Okinawa, Japan and needs to raise money. He has until February 29th to raise enough money for a round-trip ticket, as well as enough for spending money to buy things such as clothes, food, and sake. As it currently stands, a plane ticket to Tokyo ranges from $560 to $680 dollars. He feels that $200 dollars is enough to enjoy himself for the short time he will be there.
Daniel makes $8.00 per hour at his job and works for 10 hours each week. Additionally, he is expecting slightly more than $100 in tax returns and plans to sell some belongings he no longer has a use for, such as old text books and kidneys. His current assets total $53.69. Assuming he lives without excess up until the deadline, will Daniel have enough money to make his journey to the far east?
Solution:
First we begin by accounting all available funds. By the deadline, Daniel will effectively have worked 57.5 hours which is 460 dollars before taxes. Taking into consideration his plans to have a credit card by this point, it will be possible to purchase the tickets before funds are actually available; thus, we may also account for his first work week in March, which brings his total to $540. Now is a good time to add on his current assets as well as the expected tax return. In sum, we have $693.69 dollars, sans separate fund-raising efforts. We have not taken into account taxes taken from the paycheck, because to do so would be depressing, considering how skin-of-the-teeth we are.
Although the fit is as tight as a walrus in a condom, I think it can be done. There's a lot one can do to scrape up some extra cash. It can happen.