Subterranean Beefworks

ungeschmeidig

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I were to be put on some pill regiment for attention deficit disorder. I hear stories of people who, like me, spend a lot of time fucking around and letting the currents of distraction take them whereever. But then once they start on this pill schedules, everything changes and suddenly their potential is realized. I'm curious about whether those medications would have a good effect on me.

One thing about me though is that I really hate the idea of regimented, long term dosage of anything. The thought of taking a pill to change someone into a more useful individual is pretty "hard to swallow" (ha ha! get it?). I wouldn't want to drug away my idiosyncrasies or dull myself down just so I could finish programming my personal webpage.

That's the heart of this matter. I really don't feel like working on it even though I know exactly how I want it to look. All that's left to do is make the sections, but that means I have to--ough--write some very easy html/javascript. Whenever I get all the windows open to start working, photoshop, textpad, explorer tree, I sit back and think that there's always another day to do this. I'm thinking that if there was adderall coursing through my head, I would bash that shit out in a single afternoon. Good thing I have so little trust for the health industry and doctors, that I don't see myself ever going in to be "screened" for attention disorders.

I'm bored as fuckall so I started thinking about body modification again, tattoos this time. For better or worse, there's a caveat or two that keeps me from going through with this idea as well. First, there is no single design in existance that holds enough meaning for me that I would get it inked onto my body. Der deutschen Greif, as cool as it is, has no business on my shoulder-blade. Nothing I could draw would be fitting either. I would need a close friend to make something, for then I have the honor of immortalizing friendship and the thrill of having some kickass thing on me that my friend made.

Second, I am about as skeptical of tattoo parlours as I am of doctors offices. I'd need to find a really awesome place with a very reputable artist. I don't know of many places around me like that.

Maybe if I had some adderall I could write all these stories I've been meaning to write. When I sit down to write a story, I get impatient with my own verbosity and feel like skipping right to the awesome ending I thought of. I guess I have no patience to create.

I miss my friends.

- -

god dammit

HOLY SHIT

IT'S TED NUGENT!!!

I prefer my soups hot

I guess I need to do dishes. I don't care about dishes because I use them so sparingly. There is a bowl encrusted with long dehydrated beefaroni residue, and though it looks really nasty, it's too dry to cause any olfactory fuss. It seems to be darkening in hue as the days go on, but even close-nosed, it doesn't stink. Then there's my pint glasses which look like they've been filled with lake sludge, but in fact are just sticky with ever-inoffensive orange juice. Beneign squallor.

My friend has a really solid digital camera that handles dark-light settings pretty well. My camera's strong suit is macro, but it really can't hack low-light so well, which is all I really want to take pictures of. I want to take nighttime shots of buildings and cars.

Concerning Christmas, things are coming together. I sent out some straight-shooting correspondance to the Jena people, so hopefully they'll want to host me during my given dates. Honesly, the only thing I can really ask for for Christmas is money for this trip. Otherwise, a pair of jeans and a Canon PowerShot S1 IS (approx $350 digital camera) would...um...*maybe* suffice. hehehhehehe. Imagine the priceless pictures I could bring back from a former eastern bloc Kulturstadt.

Outside of all that, classes are in order an all is well. I'm poised to be more than competant for tomorrow's materials culture exam in japanobiz class. I hate it less now that I read the material. The material is still about as interesting as someone else's fingernails, but at least I can write about it and get good marks.

I'm working on aquiring American Beauty. I haven't seen that movie in ages and I have a distinct desire to see it again. The movie itself is like getting lost in a really beautiful photograph.

It's the regular readers of this page that make me want to post a lot. I don't know what charm there is in my writing, or if it's even a matter of charm at all, but rather the boredom of an empty internet. Whatever the case, anybody who comes back for more, more than once, these entries are for you.

I LUB COMPUTURZ

Such a nerdy night. Omfg. I can't let this get out of control. I feel like I feel off the wagon. My friend and I, having joined CSE350, AKA, Network Security. So tonight we played around with s0me pr0ggiez coz we're t0tal scr1pt kidz. I'm psyched about entering into a 350 level engineering class, having not been in an actual computer course in years. You won't see me sweating though, not yet anyway.

There she is, my last semester of college. I don't have a whole lot to say about it. What could be said about it? I'm not thrilled about being done, that's it.

I had more to say but I got distracted by something that made me tired.

Against all good judgement

Against all good judgement, I'm going to bang out an entry before bed. Tomorrow is going to be an extremely busy day, as most of my Mondays are. But I have a good feeling about this one because I won't be approaching it, as I always do, with the dread with which one approaches things like visits to the dentists office or eating big brown insects. This is because I won't feel so helpless against the currents of my day, as I should be, for the most part, prepared to face it.

I did my homework tonight. I read what I needed to read, studied what I needed to study, and wrote what I needed to write. You'd think that by now I would have time management skills, the senior in college that I am. I actually do have time management skills, but when you're a senior whose future isn't yet decided, things don't seem to matter as much as they should. Regardless, I did what I had to do tonight, which puts me in a great place to face my Monday.

I finally got in touch with my host family in Germany and expect that I'll have a response from them tomorrow about my travel options. I gave them a couple options:

1) I leave for Germany on the 9th of December and return on the 24th. This gives me a pretty reasonable plane fare and a good amount of time in Germany, but it is far from ideal. It means I have to do my finals early, turn in my final papers early, then spend time in Germany before the holidays even get kicking. I won't get to see my friend in Berlin, and I won't get to experience Christmas there either. It's a shitty plan, frankly. But if it's more convienient for the family, that's what I must go with.

2) This is an awesome plan. Awesome. I leave for Germany on the 24th of December and return the 14th of January. The plane fair is even more reasonable and I get *everything.* I'll arrive in Germany on Christmas and use the time I have to explore the country by Train, staying in a hostel or 2 until the family is ready to host me. I'll then get to see Jena in holiday mode, then make my way to Berlin to chill with my friend for New Years, in fucking Berlin. After that, I'll have 2 weeks to do whatever the hell I want in Germany, pending funds. I should have more than enough information to complete my independent study.

The second plan also means I'll get to see my friends over the beginning of winter break, when everyone is still psyched about being home for the holidays, and going out to party will still be a fresh concept.

I've got work in about 4 hours so this is where I stop. Tomorrow is sure to rip me limb from limb, but armed with a coffee and a fresh start, I think I'll do okay.

Asian stink bugs are creepy little craps.

commerce! commerce! commerce!

Holy shit IKEA.

Last night I had my first experience with the best store in any economy ever, Ikea. Within the realms of the gigantic Swede-colored building, one sees the culmination millions of years of evolution, condenced into one simple expression of how well we, as humans, know ourselves.

Among the first things you see as you cross the threshold is comfort; comfort in the environment--the colors, the scents, the pictures; comfort in the people--hands-off employees, enough space for other consumers to keep out of your way; comfort in spending money--your wallet seems to open as though it were a cat in heat, opening its legs to procreate. I've never felt so willing to be swept about by the currents of advertising and money-making; instead of getting pissed off like I often do in malls, I drank in the price tags and maps, and the big friendly arrows leading me around the store. If any other store put arrows on the floor to lead me around, I would immediately walk in the other direction just to piss them off, to show them that their silly ideas insult my intelligence and I can do my own shopping thank you very much. Ikea is different. I honestly felt that a group of intelligent people had put a lot of thinking into making my life easier. I respect Ikea, because to all appearances, they seem to respect the consumer.

First we explored the second floor, the model rooms assembled with such style and chic that I decided right then that I would be doing all of my furnishings shopping there, hands down. Get this: they put this beautiful looking room together, everything is labeled with an easily-located price tag complete with aisle and bin number so you know exactly where to pick up your item, and somewhere outside the room they put the total amount of money for everything in that room. Extremely reasonable amounts of money for furnishings put together in an ensemble that normal mortals would never be able to assemble on their own.

In Ikea, you feel a palpable truth in the air: They are trying to make money on you. Everything is geared towards selling you as much stuff as possible, and making sure you'll come back for more as soon as you feel the slightest lacking in your living space. How is this different from other big stores? The lack of malicious intent. Boscov's wants to bend you over and pound you in the ass until your wallet falls out. A mall doesn't even have the courtesy to bend you over, it just plunges in, takes all your money, and doesn't even leave you feeling full. Ikea, the other hand, offers you a nice comfortable couch and lets you, in your own time, drape yourself over the arm. Then it proceeds to have gentle, fulfilling buttsex with you and sends you on your way, smiling for having had such a good time.

I bought two things there. My lamp broke, so I bought a new lamp. And then I saw a really nice rug for really cheap and bought that too. I went home with my stuff so happy and excited. I was looking forward to some assembly of my lamp, but NO. It comes completely assembled except for the base. But even so, it gives you an expertly designed little instruction book (picture below.)

It's the perfect store. They do everything right. They truly understand that people will spend their money if they get good products, at good prices, and get to shop in beautiful comfortable surroundings. Ikea, I salute you.

The "Jelken." Dimming knob for mood setting, both lamps adjustable for height and orientation. Functional. Sexy.

All the dude ever wanted was his rug back.

"What do I do?? This sUx0rz! I'll call Ikea. Ahhhh, yes. That's what I do."

ellipse

Hopefully sometime soon the blood will drain from my cheeks and ears.

ough.

i guess i have to say something

It really doesn't surprise me that it was Ohio of all places that decided this election.

I lived in Ohio for seven or so odd years, and I will be the first to tell you that with very few exceptions, the accepted trend is to be dull, thoughtless, and appreciative of the status quo, especially if the status quo has something to do with furthering the Christian church.

I mean shit. This was serious, Ohio, and you completely BLEW it. You totally fucked over the entire world by voting for Bush. Pat yourself on the back you damned fools.

I people would just learn that church is not going to save the world.

Thinking it over, the fact that Ohio was so closely split lends them some credibility. Apparently there is half of the population there who doesn't suck ass, one half that does, and sucks it a little bit harder than the other half does not.

I'm really tired of talking about the whole deal. We'll make it through, we always do. It's not in Bush's hands whether we get attacked again because we can't reverse our vicious foreign policy in 4 years. Kerry wouldn't have been able to do it either. What will be will be, and we'll just have to remember to keep our alarmingly conservative government in check.

All I can hope for now is for Bush to make some gross moral error that even the church can't look past. Then all those dimwits who voted for Bush for his "moral stance" (aka, his religious fanaticism) can choke to death on their own ill-borne conceptions. After all, he used to be a coke addict alcoholic before "accepting the love of our Lord Jesus Christ into his imperfect mortal heart." With any luck he'll fall off the wagon and be found in the oval office with his face in a bowl of freshly seized Columbian cocaine.

numbra

I've got about 15 minutes before work so I'll burn some time writing an entry.

My computer is now in the best form I could hope for it to be, given my equipment. Everything is settled and functioning the way I want it to. My cooling solution has been replaced by something more conventional--an Iceberg4 VGA chipset fan--and my new harddrive has been properly partitioned:

I really have too much space for my needs. The connection on campus is a joke, and the regulations that they impose upon this already narrowed urethra make any sort of media accumulation a difficult and unrewarding task. I don't mind so much though. Ratz will be great for loading on games and shit.

Not a whole lot else is going on. I need to go climbing so I can get some endorphins in my tissues again. I've been easily aggrivated lately, the kind of syndromes I had freshman and sophomore year when I would throw shit and scream into my pillow at the mere creaking of someone's bed. Thankfully, it's not to that point. But I really need to chill out some. I get this way when I don't think my life is that interesting, so in an effort to make sure I'm alive, my brain makes me supersensitive to stimuli.

5 more minutes before work. No 4 now.

It's Tuesday and I'm in great shape to send my tests home with warped assholes. Materials culture quiz in HIST 340 (the only class I've ever taken that makes me feel like i'm being punished for a heinous crime) has been pushed back 5 days. Astronomy test is Friday, but I've already done some study on that and plan on doing extremely well, given my realization that it's an intro course, and nobody with half a brain should do at all poorly in an interesting intro course.

In that vein, the word "penumbra" refers to the outer region of the shadow cast by an object eclipsing the sun. It's what makes the moon look brownish during an eclipse. It also is the name of a really solid metal band.

I'm a minute over. Time for work.