I just wanted to put some words up here before packing up the keyboard.
Today is the 28th, the day I head down to Washington DC for the program orientation. From the 28th through the 31st I'll be in DC and around 4pm that Sunday (31st), I'll board my flight for Frankfurt with 74 fellow CBYX gangsters. From Frankfurt, I'll get a train to Cologne for two months of language school, which is then followed by my permanent, nine month placement "somewhere" in Bavaria.
Who knows how often I'll be able to post entries here, but I'll do my best. Until then, all the best. Take care of yourselves. I'll try to take reasonable care of myself.
Take 'er easy, America.
Originally I wanted to give this site a real make-over, a complete change in layout and tone and all that. I know it needs it, and I know I would be happier with change, but I just don't have the time or the motivation to revamp the whole thing. I've abandoned restructuring in favor of adding little widgets as I see the need for them. That little bar above, under the keen little German flag, that's going to have information in it once I'm over-seas. It might tell you what time it is where I am, my health, a link to something I want you to see, or maybe even something like an away message for when I'm out of touch. For the moment, it's a stark phrase that expresses the lump I feel in my throat, now that I am a day away from leaving.
I'm getting both the butterflies that flutter in my stomach and the moths that eat away at the lining of my stomach; the excitement and the cold apprehension. There's so much little shit to be accounted for and to be quite honest, I haven't even started accounting for it yet. I just want to wake up there, my bags and belongings all situated for me so I can just go about my brief new life. But, what would this be if it didn't sit squarely on my shoulders, stressing the shit out of me?
What I feel a day before leaving is helplessness. Leaving is the most opportune time to let somebody you know you'll miss them, but I don't know how to do that. Even all the people at work that I've gotten really tight with, how am I to close things up with them in a way to let them know that they're really friends of mine now? And it's not just my friends at work, it's all of my friends.
I've always sucked at keeping in touch, even with my own family. But I think it's really time to shelve that laziness.
So anyway, I'll be posting as I can, between traveling and adapting. The title of this entry is my hopes for this website. You'll be able to hear about what I'm up to, and through comments, I'll get to hear what you're up to. Comment any time you like, about anything you want, and rest assured it will truly make my day.
In a day or so I'm going to be dumped in the middle of an ocean and told to swim ashore.
Last one in is a rotten bratwurst.
Test post. New server.
and comments are temporarily closed until i get antispam shit up again.
There are some things to be said about the subway and bus bombings in London. It is another high-stakes terrorist attack, and so it's open season for journalists and pundits to strafe their ideas on a global public starving for answers. To me it's as though the more attacks happen, the easier it becomes to see through the speculation and rhetoric, and build an opinion about the whole global terrorism problem.
Terrorism is a way to push a cause and get a point across, and it works extremely well. A narrow example is the kidnapping of the Italian journalist which precipitated Italy's pull-out from Iraq. The Italian people got sick of fighting somebody else's war and when one of their own was endangered, it was enough stress on the government to abandon their work in the Middle East. A wider example is bringing Jihad to to American soil by crashing planes into our prized New York skyline. The effects of that attack are exactly as intended by the attackers:
1. Economic strength is the first of America's trump cards. We rely on our economic strength to control the markets, and so control the world. However, America has been on shakey economic ground ever since the attacks. To lose our credibility in this arena is to lose our grip as a superpower.
2. Relatedly, we are now, more than ever, a country of military prowess. With so much funding tied up in military spending, there is alarmingly little wiggle room in which to take care of our own social system. Bush bills our country as a nation responsible for spreading "freedom" and "liberty" throughout the world, but what he has done is embroiled us in a never-ending battle that acts like a stone tied to our nation's ankle. As Europe has no such need or desire for a military like ours, they can focus on improving their social and economic systems while we're out fighting their battles. It's thereby not entirely out of the question for a united Europe to overtake the United States in global commerce.
With our two strongest cards removed from the deck, money and military, what do we have left? Certainly not American values. The fetid PATRIOT ACT shits so thickly on our rights that in the name of porous security from terrorists, we surrender the very things we feel make us different from other countries.
So yes, I would say the terrorism of 9/11 had its desired affect.
And terrorism isn't getting any better. As Bush marches his crusade across the Middle East, Al-Qaeda's cause (though not necessarily the group itself) is getting more support. Take the Earth Liberation Front (ELF). It's is a highly de-centralized eco-terrorism group. Acts are commited in the name of its cause, rather than as orders handed down from the top ranks. Even if its founders were thrown in jail forever, the cause would continue. I see the same thing happening with Al-Qaeda. The only hint of responsibility for the bombings in London was some post on a message board, giving culpability to some "secret Al-Qaeda in Europe" group that nobody's ever heard of. The media flips its shit thinking a new, previously unknown chapter of Al-Qaeda has been sitting dormant in Europe. "OH GOD there's so much we don't know!" they scream. No, I think somebody fell in love with Bin Laden's ideology and decided to do some attacks on his own.
If this is the case and A-Q becomes this spector of violence, our gigantic military dong will be nothing but a flaccid appendage hanging off our weak and sickly body.
We're taking the wrong approach to terrorism. Every nation that follows our orders in the matter is taking the wrong approach. The deaths of our known enemies will not change this, for if Al-Qaeda becomes a concept, no amount of military bombing will snuff it out.
I'm back from my stay in the DC area and it's back to the routine of working, eating, sleeping and making vacuous plans to camp out some night.
It was a really good time since I had such a great host to show me around the place. The only problem is that starting the moment she drove away, a string of minor misfortunes has befallen me.
I had a lot on my mind just after she dropped me off, and in that fog I ended up leaving my backpack at the apartment where my other friend was staying. Camera, house/car/work keys, raincoat, knife, sunglasses, lip balm, razor, 2 pairs of pants, 2 shirts, 2 pairs of boxers, and a sack of responsibility all sit 5 hours away. Bummer. I climbed into my 2nd-story bathroom window to get inside.
This morning, I had some time before work so instead of going straight there after dropping the mother off, I went home. The screendoor handle got jammed. I gave it a good strike and jammed it worse. Locked out, and now I had to contend with a broken door handle. The usual option of climbing in through the bathroom window was off-limits, since my neighbor was in her kitchen tending to her infants and I didn't want to freak her out. Instead, I went over to the side and stacked some miscellaneous big square shapes so I could clammer into the living room. Success. I set about fixing the door handle and that was that.
Then some roads closed for construction tried to fuck with me, but I got around them. I just keep getting handed small shit to deal with. Minor misfortunes.
Man, I wish I had my camera. When I get it back, I'll probably mention something about the trip and give some pictures. I think I got some good ones.